Life As a Single Dad

Meg left town (on Amtrak) Thursday afternoon to visit her friend Susan in Seattle for five fun-filled, fantastic days free from husband, children. and testosterone. But wait, you say, doesn't that mean she wasn't around for Mother's Day? Why, yes, that is exactly right. Not everyone likes hearing flowery stories about their perfect mother at church; in fact, it makes many women feel terrible, because in reality none measures up, no matter how good she is. Sometimes, mom is the one who burns the bacon. Regardless, I fully supported her leaving and was looking forward to some time away from the office to focus on my children. I made a list of things I wanted to do, and asked the kids to do the same (which they didn't do), but even though I didn't accomplish everything on the list, it helped me avoid just playing Angry Birds all day (I still haven't achieved three stars on every level--blasted pigs!).

These five days taught me the difference between stay-at-home dads and single dads. Fulfilling one role is clearly better than the other. Thursday didn't really count, as Meg was there for part of the day, so it was more like she was working at a dance team competition or playing volleyball in her league.

Friday started out with me thinking that I was a stay-at-home dad. I was able to go on a long, slow, whimsical run while pushing Ian in the bike trailer. We stopped at Johnson Creek Park, which we had to ourselves for the hour we were there playing and exploring and spying on herons and throwing rocks into the creek. I felt like Ed and I bonded while we chatted and walked home from school. And I savored being able to deep-fry pounds of cod for dinner. Even though there was a bit of structure with the kids' school schedule, I hadn't felt this free for a long time. It was awesome. After dinner we watched a movie I've wanted to introduce to the boys: Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Aaron found it so funny that he almost laughed himself into a coughing-induced asthma attack, and I can tell it influenced Eddie, as he practiced doing Pee-Wee-esque tricks on his bike later in the week.

Once the weekend hit, however, I soon realized that I was actually a single dad, with no hope of reinforcement. I loathe traveling with the kids in the car (I'd rather bike together, even though that is probably the more difficult option), but I manned up and took them to the Bird Festival at Sellwood Park early Saturday morning; it helps when one of your kids labels the activity "like the best festival event of the year." All three seemed to have had a marvelous time (and I'm grateful that Aaron has matured to the point where I can trust him to wander around by himself and find me later--two are much easier to mange than three). We had to leave early, however, as Aaron had a birthday party to attend at Pietro's Pizza in Milwaukie. But that was okay because the clouds burst as soon as we closed the doors to the van, and it rained the whole drive to Milwaukie (and then stopped immediately when we arrived). While Aaron partied with his friends--and even ate part of a slice of cheese pizza--I took the younger boys a few blocks away to the Portland Waldorf school playground, which was also hosting their May Faire celebration (something of a Renaissance fair, I think). They seemed content to hang there for the 75 minutes before we needed to return to pick up Aaron.The rest of the day was easy hanging out at home while it rained outside.

On Sunday morning, before we ventured off to church, we made a video greeting to send to the number one lady in our lives. You'll notice a few things about this: 1. There's a reason I don't get paid for my acting skills. 2. Even though he claims his lips don't hurt real bad, he needs someone to bring him some chapstick. 3. No one can tame Eddie. 4. Ian can melt the ice off of even the coldest of hearts. Unfortunately, she didn't watch it until after she had returned home.


Being at church was a nice break; it recharged my patience levels and enabled me to deal with the children in a level-headed manner. Ed was assigned to give a talk in his primary class, but he choose instead to have me deliver it--and I had the kids rolling on the ground in laughter at my comedic words and gestures--in exchange for being banned from all video games until Meg returned.

I've never been so glad to wake up to a  Monday before. With Aaron and Eddie back in school for the whole day, Ian and I were able to do whatever the heck I wanted to do, which included another, even longer run, another date at the park, and an Ian-led ramble through the neighborhood before walking over to Llewellyn to pick up #1 and #2. We stopped at QFC to buy flowers (for Meg) and donuts (for Aaron and Ed) before returning home for a few hours.

All day my allergies were attacking me hard. It was my fault, as I spent most of the day out-of-doors, but I couldn't resist one more, allergy-inducing activity: taking the boys to to Crystal Springs Rhododendron Gardens (another Portland treasure so close to us) in Eastmoreland, with a promise of Slurpees at 7-11 afterward. The boys easily biked the less than two miles to the park entrance, and Ian was so quiet in the trailer that he could have jumped out and gone his own adventure, for all I knew. This was my third trip to the gardens (previous visits were in summer and winter) but first with all of the kids. Edward and Ian and both been before and realized it when we arrived. But Aaron, maybe two minutes after passing through the gate, mused, "I want to become addicted to this place. It's amazing that everything here is so natural." My kids continue to amaze me with their depth of observation. Meg says, similarly, "When did Aaron suddenly become a tween?" It's called the Booren genetic disposition to mature early, since I was one of the shortest and skinniest kids in my class for most of my life (I didn't fully reach 6'0" until I was 20 and in Japan). I was tempted several times to go Angry Dad on the kids, but I held my composure (mostly), and I think we all thoroughly enjoyed being there together.

Two minutes of bike riding brought us to the nearest 7-11, where we enjoyed sweet, delicious slurpees, and I enjoyed watching what is probably one of 7-11's most liberal crowds (Reed College is across the street). We all rode home without incident (Ed has become a pretty strong rider) and went to bed, dreaming of our wife and mother to return. Although Meg has relayed to me some of the things she experienced on her trip, please petition her en masse to write about her adventures on her blog.