Weekend at Great Wolf Lodge

Grandma and Grandpa Booren are leaving their home of 17+ years to move to the East Coast, so they threw a going-away party of sorts for their kids and grand kids. The location: Great Wolf Lodge, about 100 miles north of Portland. Fortunately, they also let me tag along (of course they did; they have openly accepted me as one of their own from the very first time I met them, which took place before I had even begun courting their baby daughter). Only two of the four families still residing in Oregon were able to make it, which was nice for us because it allowed for our boys to spend more individual time with their grandparents.

It's Like a Dream Come True for a Little Boy

Anyone else see my mullet hiding in the back?

I'm not sure how to describe Great Wolf Lodge. It's part resort, part indoor water park, part hotel--but all of its parts are definitely geared towards making money (it ain't for those hoping to have a good time on the cheap). When we arrived we were able to put what little luggage we brought in our suite, which we shared with the elder Boorens, and then immediately proceeded to the water park for a couple hours of frolicking in the hot and humid pools and tunnels of water. Meg had strained her neck the previous week, so she declined going down any of the thrill rides, which left the job to me. The rides weren't that thrilling (i.e., I never once felt like I was going to die or throw up), so I was able to accompany both Aaron and Edward on many a trip, although both Friday and Saturday night my head hurt and my insides felt nauseous. That's why I found this sign, which was for sale in one of the gift shops, very fitting. It strengthened me to know that I'm not alone. We also spent Saturday morning at the water park.

Oh blessed pig

A sad reality

We dined at one of the many in-resort restaurants for dinner (we brought our own breakfast and lunch for Saturday), and I was happy to go family-style with three others for ribs and mashed potatoes and veggies. That was probably meal enough for me, but that didn't stop me from trying to finish off the bucket-o'-fries that several of the boys left behind--Emma kept refilling the bucket just before I thought I was about to empty it. Dessert rarely has any appeal to me, especially not on a feast like tonight. I joked with the Boorens that this my thanksgiving with them.

The Book of Mormon is My Spell Book

Outside of the main attraction--the water park--there were many other activities possible at the resort: kiddie manicures, arcade, critter club, and others that elude my memory. But the one that captured the boys' attention the most was the MagiQuest game. First you had to spend $15 on a plastic wand that activated pieces of the game that were scattered throughout the lodge. Then you had to spend another $15 on the actual game. And the guidebook cost a buck, or it was free--I couldn't get a straight answer from Aaron and Ed. The game involved finding specific things around the lodge in a certain order, documenting their findings with the magic wand. I observed Aaron and Edward questing mid-way through their adventure and never really understood what they were doing. I traded places with Meg, which mean coaxing Ian to fall asleep while riding on my shoulders, and then taking a nap on a couch in the lodge foyer. This proved dangerous, as Meg reports several men were hitting on her (usually it's the other way around, as hard as that is to believe; no, no: Meg doesn't hit on other guys; other women hit on me). The funny part of that was when she described who her husband was, all of the suitors knew immediately who she was talking about; everyone dreams that they could be like Mike.

Eddie temporarily took my place so I could pee

I suppose the magiQuest game was a cheaper and healthier option than just giving them the equivalent amount of money to spend on tokens at the arcade to win tickets with which they could redeem for a dollar's worth of sugar-coated merchandise. The game took them all over five of the lodge's eight floors, which meant they climbed countless flights of stairs in pursuit of their runes and battles with digitized dragons. I just thought it was kind of nerdy (like I can speak)--I mean, you should have seen the guy who registered your wand and activated it for the game; he was perhaps the perfect fit for the job, as he never slipped out of character, was dressed as a medieval shopkeeper, spoke in a comical accent, and seemed like he genuinely loved his job. The boys stated unequivocally that the magiQuest was their favorite part of the trip, and they hope somebody, some day, will take them back to complete another segment of the game that eluded them because of time constraints.

Thank you Skip and Emma for treating us one last time. Life in Oregon will not be the same without your loving and comforting presence. This might sound odd, and I don't mean this in a negative way, but I hope your move proves to the be the hardest thing you've ever done. I think we'll miss you more than anyone.

I'd also like to give a shout-out to Aaron's blog, where he posted his first real story (isn't it nice to read about the same event from a different bias?). He sincerely hopes to write more stories as they happen and as he receives reminders from me to write them down.

And in case you wondered about the headings from above, they were mouthed by none other than Edward. That boy says some funny stuff sometimes.